March 11, 2014 If you’re tired of reading about all of the wonderful places we have been going read on, you’re going to like this one. If you have been to New Orleans and think it’s just wonderful, stop reading, you’re not going to like what I’m about to write.
This is the worst place I’ve ever visited. It stinks, really stinks, like rotting garbage. The streets are filthy. According to our “Buggy Tour Guide” New Orleans is slowly disintegrating (rotting) from infestation. He named termites … and was vague on the “variety of other bugs and insects”. My guess, for the BIG ONE he didn’t name would be cockroach. EEEEYYYOOOOUUUU! He pointed out small silver caps in the sidewalks that are full of insecticide (poison). But don’t worry they are carefully monitored by University students.
The University of Boozers maybe? If you are an alcoholic wannabe, come to New Orleans and your dream will come true. Bars here are required to close down for ONE HOUR a year!. On the day after Fat Tuesday (Ash Wednesday) all bars must close for one hour, so they can clean the streets. We are actually here during the cleanest time of the year! I cannot imagine the odor during the summer heat and humidity. People must either walk around with clothespins on their noses or the more scientific explanation would be drunk people lose their sense of smell.
I’ll get off my soap box and tell a funny story. We are walking down one of the streets in the French Quarter. There is a young (maybe 20-25 yr old) dirty, unshaven, slightly intoxicated, WHITE male, half sitting, half laying against a wall. He looks up at David and slurs “Hey Daddy! You got some cheddar to spread on this cracker?” I burst out laughing. David didn’t here what he said. He’s say “What? What did he say?” Good thing we had walked away before I told him what he said. David probably would have gone over and kicked him and told him to get off his lazy “butt” and get a job. Then David would have got knifed.
Another memorable moment was when we were standing with a group of tourists waiting on a corner for our shuttle. The group was approached by the most hideous, filthy “gray” woman. She looked like she had come out of a graveyard. She had sores all over her arms. I kept thinking, don’t make eye contact, don’t make eye contact. She proceeded to lecture the group on safety tips for tourists. Men keep your wallets in your front pocket, ladies hang your purses across your chests … blah … blah … blah. As I slinked as far away from her as I could, her hand was coming out for a “gratuity”. I didn’t look close enough, but I’m pretty sure her shirt said “Gratuities are kindly accepted and appreciated.” That’s as common a sign here as “Don’t feed the alligators” is in Florida.
Travel Tale … Here’s the last funny one. I have a ton of them, this place is bazaar. We had coffee and beignets at the famous Cafe’ Du Monde. The atmosphere was fun. Lots of characters, especially the waiters and waitresses. My guess is they are hired for their ethnicities and character, there was a variety. I was in the ladies room when David was seated and ordered. One cafe au latte and two orders (6) of beignets. The place was packed. Waiters and waitresses were everywhere delivering trays FULL of orders to three and four tables at a time. We’re waiting and waiting and waiting. I say to David “Are you sure you ordered? Do you see our waitress?” He say’s “Yes, I ordered. No, I don’t see her.” Then I see her coming … I KNOW this has got to be her. Boom! Boom! Right down through the crowded tables. A robust Asian woman with attitude all over her face. All she has on her tray is our order, one cafe au latte and 6 beignets. The cafe is spilling all over the tray. There are no checks here. When your order is delivered, you pay and you better have cash. Ms Waitress of the Month says “$8” to David. David hands her exactly $8. She scowls at him and stands there glaring at him. “I lean over and say “I think she’s waiting for a tip, NOW.” David gets flustered and starts fumbling in his pocket for a tip, meanwhile the glare is almost blinding. Thank God he had singles and didn’t have to ask for change.
In New Orleans you better have lots of singles, EVERYONE expects to be tipped and not in change. I heard a street performer yell at someone for throwing change into his bag.
This is our last night here. Our plan is to go back into “the armpit” tonight for dinner. Cockroach du jour at The Swamp. It’s a real place, check it out on line. It is one of the most disgusting places down there. Young people wait hours in long lines to get in. Girls and girls only are allowed to dance on the bar. Only joking! We’re NOT going there.
The place we’re really eating at is where Napoleon Bonaparte was given refuge in the city. It’s very historic and funky. My meal will be liquid and I’m planning on smuggling in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in my purse.
Note to Vegan/Vegetarians you would starve here. EVERYTHING is made with sausage, pork, beef and seafood. I don’t know where chicken went, I think the 20 pound Nutria (giant rats, that are also a problem here) must eat them.
My first restaurant meal here was a French Bread Pizza appetizer ($9) that I was told they ran out of sauce, but would I like tomato paste. I opted for canned diced tomatoes.
Second was a spinach salad ($8) that actually had a delicious dressing and crunchy candied pecans (I hope they were pecans). Those were the only two things “vegetarian” I could find on any menu. One waitress was quite perturbed with me, she was tapping her pencil on her pad and tapping her foot on the floor as I was looking at the menu. It’s all about attitude here in New Orleans!
We did stay at a very nice campground. Pontchartrain Landing. A New Orleans Waterfront RV Park, 6001 France Rd in New Orleans (Site # 82).
Next Stop … heading north